Grieving the Losses of Childhood

The loss of a stable, loving childhood, safe attachment figures, or the experience of being cherished are not obvious losses. Yet therapists know the cost to their clients when these losses are never acknowledged and never comforted. And because grief is such a painful emotion, the universal instinct of all human beings is to avoid feelings of sorrow. That leaves our clients angry at the failure of their attachment figures or angry at themselves for not being good enough to be loved, unable to resolve their grief because it is too frightening to feel its effects.

How do we help clients grieve without re-opening the wounds of childhood? How do we help them to feel warmly self-accepting rather than reliving over and over the pain of rejection and abandonment?

A mindfulness-based trauma-informed approach to grief and loss

• Takes advantage of the body to achieve optimal levels of sadness, not too much or too little
• Increases the ability to tolerate grief
• Helps individuals to befriend grief and to befriend themselves

Learning Objectives:

• Describe the physical and emotional consequences of attachment-related losses
• Summarize the practice of “mindful grieving”
• Identify 2 somatic interventions for regulating the intensity of grief